I'm reading the latest Savvy Times and the article by Linda, "Minister of No" struck a cord.
How often am I saying no? How often do I say yes?
Thinking back to our play sessions I realize that I say "no" much more frequently than "yes"! How interesting... and it needs to change!
The key to saying 'yes' more frequently is to make the task the horse's idea. If I make my idea her idea, then I'll be saying yes all the time.
This sentence was eye opening to me:
"You feel your horse is starting to fade away or resist a little, so you increase the pressure on the rope or add some stick, and boom - the horse is out of there. In effect you were saying, "No, no, don't fade away... come here, stay here," but all the horse feels is pressure and your displeasure, and that becomes threatening."
Yes, yes, yes, that is exactly how Satin feels! I need start saying, "Yes, it's okay to leave. I'm sorry I pushed you too far. I'll just flow along with you until you feel okay again." (a quote from the article).
Avoid arguments. If they want to eat grass, let them eat grass on your terms - leave nothing to argue about.
I need to show her I am with her rather than against her.
1 comment:
that is a pretty awesome article. I like that sentiment.
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