As another year draws to its end, it feels appropriate to reflect back on 2012 as a means to make 2013 even better. I feel most appreciative of the daily interactions with my friends who have played an intergral role in my journey as a horseman, whether they realize it or not! Watching their personal journeys has inspired me to better myself, reminded me to always trust my horses and put the relationship first, and to keep open lines of communication, even when it calls for stepping way outside my comfort zone. I credit these friends to my most significant savvy developments of 2012. Thank you to my horses, my instructors, Stacey, Missy, and Morgan, for all that you do for me. I cannot imagine where I would be without your support.

Feeling the leadership

Have you ever had your horse turn loose to your leadership? I mean really relinquish the leadership to you – it comes in the form of a trusting, willing, connected partner and you move as one unit.

This was my most recent discovery and one I hope to never forget. I felt the light bulb turn on for my horse (right about the same time it snapped on for me). This was a different kind of “aha” moment for her. She didn’t just learn a new pattern or realize that she was capable of a task. This was her consciously deciding to give something extremely special to me – the leadership. She was holding on to that last little bit and wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon. She liked being able to boss me around, brace against me, and ignore me every now and then. But now, with the help of an experienced instructor, I have learned how to be the leader that Satin would be willing to give that up to. She put me to the test and this time I WON! And when I won, she acted like a partner. I couldn’t ask for a better reward!

There are few words to describe the feeling of the true partnership you can attain with a horse. It’s not loyalty like a dog or affection like a cat. It’s equality. It’s a mutual understanding. It’s a partnership.

I mentally understood the idea of partnership for a while now, but today I know how it feels. I’m a feeler, not a thinker, so being able to finally feel that connection is priceless. I know what I am working towards when I play with my horse. I can feel the goal. Now it all makes sense!

So many of Pat’s quotes are singing in my head as the dots connect between my experiences. I keep feeling my brain holler, “I get it now!”

The journey is incredible. So many talented people have helped to get me to where I have come and I’m sure will help me continue to progress. I’m feeling blessed and grateful today. I can’t wait to spend time with my horse today and I hope she’s feeling the same way!

Priceless is an epiphany

There is something to say about time put in. In the beginning of my journey there was much doubt and skepticism. Not so much because I didn't believe the Parelli methods would work, but I've come to learn (learn being a key word here!) that experience as taught me to trust the process. I have seen the process work and I now have faith in that process (thank you Pat!) and confidence in my leadership. When I learned to trust the process a peace came to me. I imagine the feeling is quite mutual with my horses -- when they realize they can trust me as their leader, they put their faith in me and they relax. It's a beautiful thing... and priceless.
But it comes at a cost. I've now shared hundreds of hours with my horses, utilizing every moment with them as an opportunity to learn and develop. I dedicated myself to never-ending self-improvement and each time I fell down, got frustrated, or wanted to quit, I got back up. My dedication is always rewarded with an epiphany along the way and those rewards become addicting! Not such a bad thing to be addicted to!

My most recent light bulb (or BFO, as the Parelli community fondly calls them -- "blinding flash of obvious", "Big fat Oh!", etc) happened after a series of learning events. In the spring and early summer of this year I audited several clinics (Emily Thompson 3*PP, Jerry Williams 4*PP, Carol Coppinger 5*PP), had several lessons (Pete Rhodda, Jerry Williams, Karen Woodbury 3*PP), participated in horseless workshops with Karen, volunteered to play with horses at the Horse Protection Association of Florida (www.hpaf.org), and watched the latest (and seriously the greatest) Savvy Club DVDs. I've been connecting the dots more and more and shedding my ego and agenda. It feels like it's been a long road to rid myself of my old habits, but three and half years really isn't that long in the scheme of things, knowing I put at least 16 years into being traditionally minded and cruel. But I wouldn't change my journey even if it was offered to me. I am so grateful of where I am going and who I have become because of my past and I desire to never go back - my past drives me to keep pushing forward. The relationship with my partners will always come first, before agenda, before convenience, before ego. But I am and will always be a student and give myself that leeway to make mistakes, to learn and develop my savvy, and continue being the leader that my partner needs me to be.

More practically speaking, I've really started to understand the psychology behind the introvert and what the introvert requires from me as a leader. I've seen my own LBI offer me way more while I am doing far less and it only took a little psychology (and patience!). To see my partner go from unmotivated and tuned out to offering effort and mental connection is priceless... Too priceless for words, really.

Progression, Naturally

It’s no wonder that the theme of progress has been on my mind lately; I have not been able to play with any horses for five weeks! I’ve talked before about being frustrated with my lack of progress and feeling stagnant in my journey, like a boat without a sail. 

Despite the fact that I have not even touched my horse in 5 weeks (I am 900 miles away), I have had more epiphanies on progress than ever before.  Maybe being out of my element and away from the farm gives me a new perspective. Maybe there’s a lot of learning going on ‘under the hood’ that I’m unaware of while I watch and re-watch dozens of Parelli videos. But my mind has changed. Rather than feel the uncomfortable pressure of progression, I feel the excitement of potential! More importantly, I see the journey not as a means to the end, but as a million little equally valuable journeys.

The journey has always been figuring out how to get from A to Z. I saw where I wanted to be and forgot the importance of how to get there. “The horse doesn’t care how much you know until she knows how much you care.” It’s not how to get my horse from A to Z, but how much do I care about my horse right here, right now, from A to B, then from B to C, then from C to D, or back to B if that’s what she needs. And the progression comes so much more naturally if we are not focused on the end point, but on what the horse needs at that moment. Instead of push, push, push, it's an organic, willing, natural transition forward.

I have heard Linda say it before and I myself have used it many times; a horse is like an onion, you have to peel away the layers before they may expose their inner selves. I feel the same way about myself for the first time. I keep shedding these layers of tradition and experience the more I dedicate myself to the journey, to myself, and to my horse. “If you take care of your horsemanship, it will take care of you.” 

Love it!

Up a creek without a horse

For the rare occasion when you don’t have access to a horse to play with for a length of time, what do you do to progress your savvy? I am 900 miles from home for 6 weeks with no horses…

Well, I’ve been re-watching Patterns DVDs, Savvy Club DVDs, and Savvy Vault videos. I re-read my Horsenality, Humanality, and Match Reports and have gone back through my Parelli magazines. I have been going for long walks and hikes and challenged my body and mind as if I were riding a horse. I have been trying to develop my seat and riding posture using anything shaped like a horse.

What do you do when you don’t have a horse to play with?

Invaluable Pause

When I think of making progress I think of forward momentum and action. When I evaluate my progress with Satin I often feel as if we are not moving fast enough, and sometimes I even feel stuck. I usually get down on myself for being stagnant which often results in a lack of positivity.

Something I have realized recently, partly due to my deepening understanding and practice of yoga and partly due to my expanding savvy from PNH, is that an integral part of progress is pause. Just like yoga is founded on the breath, in and out, deep and allowing, our horsemanship journey needs to breathe. We benefit from a pause -- a full inhale and a deep exhale – to clear our mind. As it relates to PNH, I find it so important to take those moments often to remember how far we have come and all that awaits us. A moment spent playing the friendly game is invaluable. Friendly moments are the foundation of our relationship.

Put your heart in your hand and touch your horse with your heart. – Pat Parelli

Take the time it takes, and it will take less time. – Pat Parelli

Yoga doesn't take time, it gives time.  -Ganga White

Follow the Leader

Horses, by nature, follow a leader. The core reason of their dominance games is to establish hierarchy and test their leadership. Some horses seem to be more gracious leaders than others, and some appear to really have a knack for it. All horses want leadership – but not just from anyone who puts on a hat that says, “Alpha.” Some horses will absolutely put your leadership to the test because they dang sure are not going to follow an inferior leader! They have standards!

I think each horse, depending on many factors, including horsenality, have their own set of standards for who they will follow. 

Satin is, according to her Horsenality Report, a Left-brained Introvert on the cusp of left-brained extrovert. She easily swings across that introvert/extrovert line depending on the situation and environment. My goal is to help her balance mentally, emotionally, and physically. What I have learned, however, is it really has a lot less to do with her balance and a whole lot more to do with my own. 

The Humanality Report, to my surprise, pegs me a right-brain introvert. After pouring through the details (and getting over my initial shock with a splash of denial), I realized that indeed I am a RBI.

As I have developed my savvy, Satin has improved. I thought Satin improved because she was learning patterns, growing more confident in learning situations, and trusting my leadership more and more. That was all true, but I was missing a critical point. Satin chooses to follow me deeper into our relationship as I develop. Satin is learning to balance mentally, emotionally, and physically because I have gained the tools, the knowledge, the understanding, and the savvy to help her! 

I spent the last 14 years with Satin. Why only now, in the past 2 years, would she begin to follow me as her leader? Because I am becoming a leader! She improves because I improve. She learns because I have learned. 

The more balanced a leader you become, the more deeply your horse will follow you. I need to spend less time thinking about “How can I help Satin grow?” and more time thinking, “How can I grow as a leader?”

Pat has demonstrated this concept time and time again with a horse he has never met before – that horse doesn’t know Pat from Adam, but Pat behaves like a leader in a language the horse understands and that horse chooses to follow the leader. 

“The horse doesn’t care how much you know…”

It’s not that I have known Satin for 14 years that makes me a good leader….

“… Until they know how much you care.”

It’s that I care enough to be the leader she needs.