Feeling the leadership

Have you ever had your horse turn loose to your leadership? I mean really relinquish the leadership to you – it comes in the form of a trusting, willing, connected partner and you move as one unit.

This was my most recent discovery and one I hope to never forget. I felt the light bulb turn on for my horse (right about the same time it snapped on for me). This was a different kind of “aha” moment for her. She didn’t just learn a new pattern or realize that she was capable of a task. This was her consciously deciding to give something extremely special to me – the leadership. She was holding on to that last little bit and wasn’t planning on letting go anytime soon. She liked being able to boss me around, brace against me, and ignore me every now and then. But now, with the help of an experienced instructor, I have learned how to be the leader that Satin would be willing to give that up to. She put me to the test and this time I WON! And when I won, she acted like a partner. I couldn’t ask for a better reward!

There are few words to describe the feeling of the true partnership you can attain with a horse. It’s not loyalty like a dog or affection like a cat. It’s equality. It’s a mutual understanding. It’s a partnership.

I mentally understood the idea of partnership for a while now, but today I know how it feels. I’m a feeler, not a thinker, so being able to finally feel that connection is priceless. I know what I am working towards when I play with my horse. I can feel the goal. Now it all makes sense!

So many of Pat’s quotes are singing in my head as the dots connect between my experiences. I keep feeling my brain holler, “I get it now!”

The journey is incredible. So many talented people have helped to get me to where I have come and I’m sure will help me continue to progress. I’m feeling blessed and grateful today. I can’t wait to spend time with my horse today and I hope she’s feeling the same way!

Priceless is an epiphany

There is something to say about time put in. In the beginning of my journey there was much doubt and skepticism. Not so much because I didn't believe the Parelli methods would work, but I've come to learn (learn being a key word here!) that experience as taught me to trust the process. I have seen the process work and I now have faith in that process (thank you Pat!) and confidence in my leadership. When I learned to trust the process a peace came to me. I imagine the feeling is quite mutual with my horses -- when they realize they can trust me as their leader, they put their faith in me and they relax. It's a beautiful thing... and priceless.
But it comes at a cost. I've now shared hundreds of hours with my horses, utilizing every moment with them as an opportunity to learn and develop. I dedicated myself to never-ending self-improvement and each time I fell down, got frustrated, or wanted to quit, I got back up. My dedication is always rewarded with an epiphany along the way and those rewards become addicting! Not such a bad thing to be addicted to!

My most recent light bulb (or BFO, as the Parelli community fondly calls them -- "blinding flash of obvious", "Big fat Oh!", etc) happened after a series of learning events. In the spring and early summer of this year I audited several clinics (Emily Thompson 3*PP, Jerry Williams 4*PP, Carol Coppinger 5*PP), had several lessons (Pete Rhodda, Jerry Williams, Karen Woodbury 3*PP), participated in horseless workshops with Karen, volunteered to play with horses at the Horse Protection Association of Florida (www.hpaf.org), and watched the latest (and seriously the greatest) Savvy Club DVDs. I've been connecting the dots more and more and shedding my ego and agenda. It feels like it's been a long road to rid myself of my old habits, but three and half years really isn't that long in the scheme of things, knowing I put at least 16 years into being traditionally minded and cruel. But I wouldn't change my journey even if it was offered to me. I am so grateful of where I am going and who I have become because of my past and I desire to never go back - my past drives me to keep pushing forward. The relationship with my partners will always come first, before agenda, before convenience, before ego. But I am and will always be a student and give myself that leeway to make mistakes, to learn and develop my savvy, and continue being the leader that my partner needs me to be.

More practically speaking, I've really started to understand the psychology behind the introvert and what the introvert requires from me as a leader. I've seen my own LBI offer me way more while I am doing far less and it only took a little psychology (and patience!). To see my partner go from unmotivated and tuned out to offering effort and mental connection is priceless... Too priceless for words, really.