What is an alpha horse?

I grew up on natural horsemanship, starting with Monty Roberts' tail of his childhood watching feral horses in the American West. I remember reading those lines, each work creating this amazing picture of a young boy peering over into a ravine at an unsuspecting herd of Mustangs. He was alone and yet in perfect company. When I read those lines as a 10 year old, my mind screamed "That's me!". All I wanted to do was observe the natural horse.
When my family would go to the mall I would always make it to the bookstore, sit on the floor, and stare at page after page of horse images. Every book from the Encyclopedia of the Horse to Horse Care 101 to coffee table picture books - no 'horse book' was left unread.
When I finally had he opportunity to take horse back riding lessons, "thrilled" does not begin to describe my girlish excitement! But as soon as I was shoved up into a saddle, my feet forced into stirrups, my hands perfectly placed on the leather ropes connecting to a piece of metal meant to case discomfort, I felt immediately wrong. I thought, "This isn't how I imagined it." I was taught equitation before anyone ever tried to explain why a horse reacts the way they do. Horse behavior was never mentioned. It was always the horses' fault - Always. So honestly, I never enjoyed lessons. Every Saturday I would get a stomach ache on the way to lessons. I didn't know why. So I stopped eating breakfast before we went. I still felt ill. Every time, guaranteed.
My stomach didn't settle until I was in the barn cleaning my trainer's hideous stalls, listening to the horses munch their hay, snort and move about. This is where I was happiest.
My first job as a 13 year-old was cleaning stalls at Churchill Farm - an Appaloosa breeding farm and lesson barn. I cleaned 40 stalls a day, fed, and even exercised some horses. After I showed my natural abilities with horses, the owners allowed me to handle their stallion (which, thinking back, was stupid to allow a young girl to do such a thing!). But my time spent surrounded by their smells and sounds are among my fondest memories. I continued spending more time with horses, taking lessons, riding on a mounted drill team, and working at different barns.

It wasn't until September of 1997, I was 14, that I really got to spend countless hours observing and spending undemanding time with horses. This was the month I met my baby, Satin. Oh, my, God. I NEVER left the pasture. I would feed her in the morning, go to school and write her name on all my notebooks, then come home and play with her until I HAD to go inside. I didn't do my homework or study, I hung out with my bestest bud.

Satin came with me to college in May of 2001. We moved in with a British dressage trainer - I worked in the barn to keep my board fee low. I lived in a 6x8 bedroom in a mobile home with my friend. It wasn't the best living conditions and was a 45 minute drive to campus, but I had my horse with me and that's all that mattered. I would throw a towel over her back and lay across her, my test book open across her rump. Many times I fell asleep, only to be jarred awake by her movement.

My point? I've never strayed from my natural horsemanship roots and I'm totally in love with my horse! But I feel we've started losing touch. Or maybe our relationship is absolutely the same it has always been - which isn't as good as it could be. I have realized that with Satin I am a pathetic excuse for an alpha horse. If I want a better relationship than I need to quit babying her like a human child and treat her like the horse she is. She will love me even more for that!

But what, exactly, constitutes an alpha horse? All my years observing herd hierarchy has shown me that any horse can be alpha. The question is, what kind of alpha do I want to be? I don't want to be my gelding, Vice, who viciously attacks new herd members, bloodying them until they are forced to submit. I also don't want to be the alpha horse that is constantly making angry threats, making all the subservient horses' lives miserable. I want to be the benevolent dictator. Alpha horses are on a continuum, depending on their personalities. There is not one response to define an alpha. You can look at a situation between two horses and no two horses would behave identically the same - they are individuals, just like any living creatures. So I need to keep in mind exactly what kind of alpha I want to be. I don't want to be emotional, I want to be effective. I want to be compassionate, yet dominant, forgiving, yet structured. I want to be the horse that all the horses desperately want to follow.

I just have to keep in mind that Satin doesn't want to be coddled, she wants a strong, dependable leader!