One plus one equals?...
Sounds like a question for a elementary school child, right? Well, that's how I am to perceive Satin right now, as a pre-schooler. When I ask a question it should be basic, simple, and clear. And my expectations for her answer should be as lenient as they would be for a 5 year-old kid.
What happens when you ask a child a question that they are unsure of the answer to? They get a little unconfident, don't they? What would happen if you asked the child a question they coudln't answer and then yelled at them, "Tell me!" They probably would not be in a learning frame of mind anymore. Rather, they would feel quite insecure, and perhaps frustrated. Why would they want to learn from you or show you respect?
Satin is a pre-schooler mentally. She does not understand steady pressure, rhythmic pressure, patterns, or anything besides the habits she has had drilled in to her brain all these years. Not only are we starting from scratch, but we're also breaking down old learned behaviors and hopefully replacing them with new ones.
We are working on "hide your hiney". I ask "Satin, what's one plus one?" Rythmic driving pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure, tap the ground, tap, tap, tap... But I never raise my voice to the child. I can get more creative, more interesting, even more annoying, but I will not raise my voice (or my energy in such a way that makes me appear to be "yelling"). This is severely testing my patience! I love it!
And Satin is really enjoying our sessions! She starts to look proud as if to say "Hey! I think i figured something out! Teehee!" And then when I go to disengage her hindquarters a third, fourth, or fifth time, she responds, "Ooo, I know, I know! I go like this!" And she just looks so interested in me! All I had to do was ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.... ask, ask.... and release as soon as she gives me those eyes, making my draws extra exciting - so I briskly go backwards when she turns to me.
This simple stuff is so important, so much fun, and so rewarding!
1 comment:
That is a hard thing to learn. When I first started the games with baby Bodhi that was one of two things he taught me right off the bat: just keep asking it is about the rhythm not the escalation of pressure. and then also let him make mistakes, and smile and just ask again when he does. It is hard with those stubborn left brainers I feel you.
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