It finally clicked!

"I think we'll work on yo-yo. Maybe I can get her to do some side-ways. Hmmm. I'll try for 3 laps on the circle this time..."

That was previously my thought process as I haltered Satin and started to work with her. And when she didn't accomplish whatever task I was demanding, I would try, try, try again. But yesterday IT CLICKED! It's really not about the circle or the trailer or the yo-yo or the task! It is about ME being clear in my language, putting the relationship first, and taking responsibility as a leader should. BAM. It finally clicked.

And boy, did Satin respond! I could see her thinking and anticipating my old reactions "Mom is going to be upset because I am not getting this right." She would get nervous when she did something "wrong". But guess what? There is no wrong! There is only clear communication or a lack of communication. And when I assured her that what she was doing was great, whether or not we were doing anything, she responded so positively. She wanted to be with me more than she ever has. She wanted to try for me. And her reward wasn't material. She wasn't doing it for a prize. She just wanted to be my partner. Like a foal using the left side of their brain to follow their mother's every whim, Satin was by my side loyally.

So now instead of planning my sessions ahead of time, I plan to work on myself during the session. "What will I be conscious of today? My body language? My expression?"
It really helps to say things aloud when I play with the horses because it keeps me "self conscious".

Hooray! I knew I would finally have a revelation!

I've got a 3-hour session scheduled for July 18th with 2* Parelli trainer, Karen Woodbury. Super excited!