Florida winter wonderful

Wrapping up the past few months has been such a relief. My semester is over and I finished with flying colors. Another lesson learned: Just because it is very hard doesn't mean you can't kick it in the butt and win! It's all about how much you put in.

Speaking of putting in time, I have not spent much time with Satin aside from our one-on-one time to and from the pasture. I was able to play with her about twice a week for the past few weeks, so that's not too bad. But now that school is over and other areas of life are cooling off, I can relax and just have fun with my horses.

I keep meaning to film my Level 1 audition. Karen (2* PP) told me I would likely get 2+ marks since we're already playing advanced Level 2 in some areas. So here's my plan for the Level 1 audition tape:
*It's all about safety, so I'll keep that in mind during the taping of the audition. And this may not go in order depending on the horse that shows up :)

1) Starting with catching game at liberty, haltering
2) Extreme friendly - touch all areas with stick and hands, helicopter with savvy string, hit ground with string
3) Pick up all 4 feet from one side
4) Porcupine - move hindquarters 180 degrees (maybe I need to do 360?), same with front end and chest
5) Driving game - rhythmic pressure to disengage front and back end
6) Yo-yo game
7) Driving from Zone 3, Touch-it
8) Squeeze game between barrels
9) Circling game - send, allow, bring back
10) Sideways

Another Great Lesson

What a great lesson with Karen today!

Sometimes I wonder if Satin is digesting our lesson as much as I am. She sure does lick and chew and yawn like crazy throughout our lessons.

Today:
Transitions w/t/halt/back in no particular order, driving from zone 3 along a fence line.

We started off disconnected and Satin was not engaged. I had trouble staying in zone 3 and also had issues waiting for Satin to move before I move. After being passively persistent for a while we finally started to get in sync and she became more aware of my suggestions. When she dragged her feet, I shadowed her pace going painfully slow. It was fascinating to allow her whatever pace she wanted (as long as she was maintaining the gate) as opposed to nagging her to speed up or causing an argument. We finally got a connected trot without a cranky face! We stopped immediately, gave lots of scratches and let her digest.

We then moved on to mounting.

Another mind-blowing session. Teaching Satin to line herself up next to me to be mounted -- and having her choose and want to do it! I stood on a mounting block and played the squeeze game (sort of). She was being a little extroverted and couldn't keep her feet still, so when she didn't stop in front of me on the block, I would help her move her feet in a squeeze game-like fashion -- send her past me, disengage hind quarters, send her back in front me and relax(go to neutral) when she's where I want her to be.

She understood very quickly on the left side, but her right side took about 20 minutes. Super cool.

Rendezvous from my perspective

I was able to steal away to the 1st International Parelli Rendezvous on Saturday and Sunday. No one really knew what to expect, but we all had a general idea. It was to be an event for the students, by the students. We could expect vendors, spotlights, and forums, but that's about the extent of our knowledge of the event.

I made it to the Jacksonville Equestrian Center after a brief 1-hour drive from Gainesville. As I got my wrist band I could hear Pat Parelli's voice over the loud speaker calling out to his students as they rode around the arena. One was chasing a motorized cow. One was doing spins here and there. All the horses were relaxed and willing. Then Pat began to explain his "Dream Horses" program. Basically, quality pedigreed horses, be it quarter horse, Frisian, gypsy vanner, etc, are trained from the ground up by Mastery students. Then these horses are made available for purchase - $1,000 to buy the horse and an additional tax-deductible donation to the scholarship fund started by Tim Sullivan. I got a glimpse of the price list and saw $150,000 required donation for one of the horses. These are world-champion horses, so their requested donation amounts are not high. I think this is a fantastic idea to offer scholarships to students.

Everywhere I went there were happy horses and happy humans. When a horse was upset or nervous, I did not see angry people smacking their horse. I didn't see nervous people hanging on for their life. I saw savvy and confidence. I saw people doing what they knew to make that scared horse feel safe or that naughty horse calm down. This scene was a far cry from what I have experienced in the past during my traditional competition days.

The environment was laid back. Mastery students, interns, externs, Pat and Linda Parelli, and many others were walking around the grounds chatting with other horse-lovers. To the left in the Salty Doc Arena there were timed games. To the right was Linda on West Pointe and Amy on Remmer just having a leisurely walk about. Up ahead there was a phototonic light forum or a chiropractice forum. Saddle makeovers, liberty games, mini-horse-drawn carriages trotting by. It was bustling, but relaxed. In the massive indoor arena were vendors, concessions, and spot lights!
The spotlights were incredible. Watching people play with their horse in front of a huge audience, not for competition, but for personal growth, was awesome! Where else do you get to see that?

Everyone was approachable. Linda Parelli walked her adorable dogs while people stopped to say hello or ask a question. Pat wandered around on a horse saying hello as he passed by. Karen Rohlf answered questions at her booth. Savvy club members were meeting in person for the first time.

This event was too cool!

Yes, there were flaws. But as the FIRST Rendezvous of its kind, I don't feel the need to bring up anything negative. These events will improve year to year and I am looking forward to attending every one of them!

Grinning Ear to Ear

There have been times when I'm typing a blog post with a scowl on my face, sometimes a pensive look, but today I am grinning ear to ear.

Concepts are starting to make sense, pieces of the puzzle are beginning to click together, connections are being made, and our expressions are changing. That choppy sloppy feeling has been replaced with smoothness and savvy. This is oh-so-cool! Hard work is paying off!

The sweetest accomplishment is seeing my mare, who I have known since she was a wee foal and has spent almost 14 years with me, change her expression from "Blah" to "Aha!"
Watching Satin go from shut down and closed off to stopping at every single object we pass and putting her nose on it with curiosity, exuberance, and impulsion.

Oh. My. God. Is this really my girl? Satin is actually beginning to enjoy herself!

We had another lesson on Tuesday with Karen. We worked on sideways and the circling game. Our yo-yo and our send are broken, but I am at the point now where I can recognize what is going on and what I need to do to communicate with my horse to make a change.

Thus far I felt like I have been plugging along, but now suddenly I feel like I've stepped up the ladder rung, shook the mud off my boots, and am walking on smooth ground. I'm definitely addicted now and there's no turning back!

We like puzzles!

Our lesson on Tuesday was awesome, as usual!
Satin seemed to really get a lot out of this session as her tongue and mouth wouldn't stop moving! She was processing information like a butter churn.

We started by sending her to objects to touch-it. She showed much more engagement and curiosity than our last lesson. Karen immediately noticed the difference. Satin even looked for things to touch and was asking questions! YES! I had her mind here and there - how exciting!

My disengagement still needed work so Karen taught me a variation of the falling leaf pattern. I drive from zone 3 (which we are SO much better at now!), my friendly hand (the one closer to Satin) has the CS while my other hand holds the rope. I choose a moment and turn my body back towards her hind end and ask for disengagement. She swivels and looks, I back up and draw, then I am in the perfect position to drive her nose the other way. This made a lot of sense to both me and Satin.

There were times during the lesson when we had to solve a puzzle. Satin didn't understand that I wanted her to touch the small cone. I had to figure out how to send her to the cone without moving my feet. What a challenge mentally and emotionally.

Now we will focus on this falling leaf pattern and solving puzzles with touch-it.

This is so much fun!

Between lessons

Over the weekend I played with Satin every chance I got. I started to bring her in from the pasture in the mornings before feeding so that I could work with her. We are really focused on hindquarter disengagement (because she has a tendency to "check out") and driving from zone 3, sending, and touch-it.

I felt as though I was being "loud" in my suggestions because she reacts instead of responds. The issue? She doesn't understand my neutral. She clearly does not realize that when I am in neutral, she is good right where she is, whether it be standing still, walking, etc. I need to become clearer in my body. 
And when I send & allow, she needs to know the difference in my body between walk and trot. I really need to be aware of my body language. 

Satin is showing right-brain tendencies - How interesting! Keeping her left-brain and engaged will be my challenge as we break through these old habits.

These were my questions for Karen (2* PP) at our lesson on Tuesday.

The morning after...

Friday, Sept. 4th:

I have to admit... I was reluctant to play with Satin because our lesson the day before was so intense. I didn't know if I was up for such an emotional test. Could I stay calm and in a teaching frame of mind while Satin blows through pressure over and over and...

I decided to make no assumptions. We were going to work on what we had learned. Make no assumptions, Kathy!

I got the girl from the stall. Driving from zone 3 out of the barn. She still doesn't seem to get this yet. Whether it is our of habit that she doesn't understand or that she doesn't want to cooperate because it is a change. I am not sure.
I can drive her forward but as soon as I start to walk with her, she stops. We do this 'start, stop, start' dance for eternity. Then when she gets going and I direct her nose with the CS, she stops. Maybe my CS directing is too 'loud'.

We got out to the pasture and immediately started playing with the send & touch it. SHE. WAS. AWESOME.
She really must have learned from the lesson because she did NOT understand prior to that lesson. Today she walked with impulsion towards an object and touched with curiosity!

I am beaming!

Gosh, this girl will teach me so much.

Lesson with Karen

Lesson, Thursday, September 2nd:

Wow. Just... wow. When Karen took over the reins, so to speak, at our lesson today, Satin revealed some of herself that has not come out in our lessons previously. Karen finally got a view into my world with Satin.

Overall I am happy. I am blown away by Karen's ability to handle a tense situation. Her savvy is evident in her quick responses, patience, and know-how. Because of this Satin was able to learn a lot today.

But I'm also battling some sadness. Satin expressed today just how emotionally 'messed up' she is. There is no doubt that I have caused this emotional trauma built up over her lifetime. I struggle with the guilt of knowing that all these years I have never once asked Satin, but have always made her.

One point in particular, Karen was playing the touch-it game and Satin had completely shut down. When directed toward the object Satin would push through it or just stand there, introverted and turned off. Karen was directing her towards a jump with the focus on the standard (nose to the standard) and Satin did all she could to ignore Karen, even plowing through the jump. Satin would blow through pressure with such emotion. She did everything she could to leave.

If I had to describe Satin in a sentence, I would say, "She would have rather been anywhere else than with us." She was completely unengaged... until we made a break through. By the end of the lesson Karen had Satin's mind and her curiosity was starting to peak through her frustration and habit.

I am starting to see Right-Brained behavior from my LB horse! She's complex! Shutting down like an introvert but dancing and moving her feet like an extrovert. I couldn't ask for a better teacher than Satin. 

What I need to work on:

* Don't let Satin be wrong for too long! Correct immediately, stop the pattern, or it will teach her that all the 'wrong' she is doing is 'right'. "I wouldn't go that way if I were you!"

* Be particular about disengaging the hindquarters. Satin tends to go faster in one direction - help her understand that I am asking for disengagement by lifting the rope. Going to the left Satin seems to have less understanding. Suggest, then ask... and if she continues, then explain your request in a way that makes sense (use the CS!).

* No trotting! Do not allow her to trot at this stage of the game. Work on these principles at the walk only and discourage any other gaits. "Her disengagement button is broken at the trot."

* Be particular about standing still. Satin is addicted to moving her feet into my bubble. When I am at neutral and we are standing, Satin should "maintain gate" (stand still).

* Keep slack in the rope. I have a habit of using pressure on the halter to disengage hindquarters or to direct her nose. This will make her dull to pressure on the halter. Keeping slack in the rope will help me to use rhythmic pressure for disengaging HQ and directing her nose.

Learning Styles; A Break Through!

I've been plodding along with Satin, making everything I do with her a game. If I am grooming her I try to find some creative way to play the porcupine game. If we're leaving the stall I'll do the squeeze game. This has really fast-tracked my creativity and rope/stick handling skills. I do this with all the boarders, too, especially the dominant horses that are more challenging. So everyday, twice a day, at minimum, I am playing with as many as 15 horses in one fashion or another. I am beginning to see the different learning styles and just how complex the concept of learning truly is.

Let me attempt to elaborate.

A horse's root personality, or "Horsenality" as coined by Parelli, is based on several variables: Innate behavior, learned behavior, environment, and spirit. In my opinion, this is where you'll begin to discover how your horse will learn.

Take me, for example. I innately learn by doing. If I put my hand to the task just a single time, I absorb that information and retain it for a lifetime. But if I simply hear it, the odds of me regurgitating the information even a month later are slim. But I have learned strategies to help memorize information that I naturally cannot retain. And if you put me in a classroom environment I might close up emotionally. If you put me in an open, outdoor environment, I feel relaxed and learn much more readily. And my spirit level? Well, I would say I am not high spirited, nor am I dull. I am not outgoing but I am certainly not shy. Can you see how my spirit level might change the way I absorb information?

Now compare me to my other half, John. He innately absorbs information like a sponge and also has learned ways to study. He may be a genius by genetics and by practice, but he absolutely cannot concentrate when there is noise. Where I can study in a cafe no problem, John has to be in silence, like in a library, in order to concentrate. His spirit level is very high - he can get excited about the smallest opportunity to learn.

So as you can see, we are a product of several factors, as are our horses. They are born with innate characteristics and a certain spirit level that they get from their parents and relatives. This is controlled by genetics/breed (take "hot" bloods, like Arabians, versus "cold" bloods, like Clydesdale. You will never find a Clydesdale with the spirit of an Arabian!).Then you take into consideration their history. What have they learned? Have people been kind to them? Did they learn not to trust humans? Have they learned that they can bully humans? Were they taken away from other horses as a foal and lack natural socialization that they would learn in a herd?
How are they effected by environment? Claustrophobia? Agoraphobia?

All these variables come in to play when attempting to learn.
What is learning? Well...

1. To gain knowledge, comprehension, or mastery of through experience or study.

2. To fix in the mind or memory; memorize

3.a. To acquire experience of or an ability or a skill in b. To become aware

 

 If you're a horse, what can you learn while you are fleeing for your life? Nothing! The learning side of your brain has been shut down so that you can focus on survival! So how do we get our right-brained horses to learn? We need to get them in a learning frame of mind. In other words, we need to get the left side of their brain working.

Where does Satin fall? How does she learn?

Well, Satin is innately left-brained. She's naturally curious and brave. With just that information one might assume she would learn quickly. Wrong! If that was all that mattered than it would be true. She has a long history of being pushed and pushed and pushed without a single human ever really asking her opinion. So she's long since lost the idea of being allowed to do anything. Her first reaction to any learning situation is to ignore me. She thinks she knows what's going to happen since we've been doing it this way for 13 years. We have thick, tall walls to break down before I can show her that I am different. But when we do break open a little hole in that wall she absorbs information like a wiz-kid! 

Satin is hardly effected by her environment, so that rarely causes any flux in her learning frame of mind. But she is fairly dull on the spirit scale and needs encouragement to want to learn. 

It's complex, isn't it?

What spurred my interest in this subject was a new horse I've been playing with. He's young and mostly unburdened by human trauma. So his learned behavior is quite limited. This plays a huge role in how he learns as we have almost no hurdles to climb to get him to listen to me. He has a moderate spirit and is innately LB. His innate character is willing and eager, again unburdened by years of force unlike Satin. After playing with him just a handful of times I have been blown away by his desire to please. He wants to be with me as much as I want to be with him. He wants to learn. I can't emphasize this enough. It has really knocked my socks off. 

His different learning style has taken me to new levels in my own savvy. I can see my role as a teacher more now than ever before. But just as much I see my role as a student. 

Looking forward to the future.

Minister of NO!

I'm reading the latest Savvy Times and the article by Linda, "Minister of No" struck a cord.

How often am I saying no? How often do I say yes?

Thinking back to our play sessions I realize that I say "no" much more frequently than "yes"! How interesting... and it needs to change!

The key to saying 'yes' more frequently is to make the task the horse's idea. If I make my idea her idea, then I'll be saying yes all the time.

This sentence was eye opening to me:
"You feel your horse is starting to fade away or resist a little, so you increase the pressure on the rope or add some stick, and boom - the horse is out of there. In effect you were saying, "No, no, don't fade away... come here, stay here," but all the horse feels is pressure and your displeasure, and that becomes threatening."

Yes, yes, yes, that is exactly how Satin feels! I need start saying, "Yes, it's okay to leave. I'm sorry I pushed you too far. I'll just flow along with you until you feel okay again." (a quote from the article).

Avoid arguments. If they want to eat grass, let them eat grass on your terms - leave nothing to argue about.
I need to show her I am with her rather than against her.

Growing up and Getting Particular

As Satin learns and understands, I also must become more particular.

I spent every day for the week after my lesson playing with Satin. Sometimes it was just driving from zone 3 from the barn to the pasture. Sometimes I met her in the pasture and played "hide your hiney." But I was focusing on the basics - friendly (especially on the right side because she appears to have issues with looking at me with her right eye), porcupine, and driving games. I was rewarding the slightest try.

She gets it now - she understands when I approach her hind end and apply pressure (with my posture, my stick), then she should swivel and face me, just like she would to an alpha horse. I was very particular with her "walking through me" and kept her out of my bubble, knowing she would try to take that extra step into my space if I allowed it. So I didn't. It was hard because she is constantly taking that extra step and suddenly her shoulder is in my space. I have to be so vigilant!

We had our third lesson on Thursday and it was amazing!

Karen said she noticed an immediate improvement in my horsemanship from the moment I unloaded Satin from the trailer. I was disengaging that hind end left and right as Satin attempted to ignore me. But Karen made another observation right away: it was time to take my assertiveness up a notch. I was being sort of a pushover. Sometimes when I would apply pressure to disengage the hind Satin would look the other way, pull on the rope, and lead with her shoulder away from the pressure. We would walk in the lazy circle until she finally would give up and turn toward me half-heartidly.

What I learned:
1) ALWAYS offer a suggestion first.
Example: Leading from zone 3. The suggestion is: bring up your life, lift the rope.

2) Neutral, neutral, neutral! Satin does not yet understand the concept of "keep doing what I'm doing when my human partner is in neutral". She would move her feet before I asked her to do anything, and usually she would move into my direction.

3) Correct immediately. I may be asking for hind-quarter disengagement, but if she starts to move forward - correct her. Make the suggestion first (stick in front of her chest or head), then increase phases as needed. But she needs to know that when I ask for hind-quarter disengagement, that I don't mean "move your feet where ever you want". I get very direct-line thinking and I focus on "hindquarters hindquarters hindquarters" while she's moving her feet forward and thus we're defeating the purpose of the game. I have to correct that immediately, then go back to the hindquarters and ask again.

4) Satin tells on herself. This was a funny comment from Karen. She said, "Satin tells on herself and on you. She's honest. She doesn't hide her emotions. This makes her much less of a challenge to teach!" Satin pretty much wears her heart on her sleeve. She tells you how she feels and why. She's honest and straightforward. I'm not peeling away tons of layers to try to find out why she does what she does. If she doesn't like pressure, she pulls away or blows through it. If she is disrespectful, she walks into your space. She's a banana, not an onion.

5) The "Driving Line" is real! Karen took Satin to demonstrate how I can help Satin understand the beginnings of the send. You suggest with your "lead it, lift it"... and if you need to help them move forward all you have to do is get your pressure behind the drive line. It was like magic!

6) Satin lacks impulsion. Impulsion and flexion are connected/intertwined. Sometimes gaining one will bring along the other. Satin's lack of impulsion might be the root of several of her issues. She doesn't want to go forward when driving from zone 3, so if we gain impulsion, this issue might become obsolete.

7) Becoming particular. It's time to get more particular. When I ask something that she knows, expect an answer. She needs to be a partner and I promise not to be a predator. I give suggestion, phase 1, phase 4. By the end of my lesson Satin was behaving like a different horse. She was actually responsive. Karen thinks she is a sensitive horse (really? Satin!?) but has fallen into these cycles of dull and bored and lacking impulsion. When I step up to the plate as an alpha, Satin perks up and puts a smile on. I need to be particular with my questions now. I asked you this, this is what you should want to do. Make the right thing easy and the wrong thing hard.

One plus one equals...

One plus one equals?...

Sounds like a question for a elementary school child, right? Well, that's how I am to perceive Satin right now, as a pre-schooler. When I ask a question it should be basic, simple, and clear. And my expectations for her answer should be as lenient as they would be for a 5 year-old kid.

What happens when you ask a child a question that they are unsure of the answer to? They get a little unconfident, don't they? What would happen if you asked the child a question they coudln't answer and then yelled at them, "Tell me!" They probably would not be in a learning frame of mind anymore. Rather, they would feel quite insecure, and perhaps frustrated. Why would they want to learn from you or show you respect?

Satin is a pre-schooler mentally. She does not understand steady pressure, rhythmic pressure, patterns, or anything besides the habits she has had drilled in to her brain all these years. Not only are we starting from scratch, but we're also breaking down old learned behaviors and hopefully replacing them with new ones.

We are working on "hide your hiney". I ask "Satin, what's one plus one?" Rythmic driving pressure. Pressure, pressure, pressure, tap the ground, tap, tap, tap... But I never raise my voice to the child. I can get more creative, more interesting, even more annoying, but I will not raise my voice (or my energy in such a way that makes me appear to be "yelling"). This is severely testing my patience! I love it!
And Satin is really enjoying our sessions! She starts to look proud as if to say "Hey! I think i figured something out! Teehee!" And then when I go to disengage her hindquarters a third, fourth, or fifth time, she responds, "Ooo, I know, I know! I go like this!" And she just looks so interested in me! All I had to do was ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask, ask.... ask, ask.... and release as soon as she gives me those eyes, making my draws extra exciting - so I briskly go backwards when she turns to me.

This simple stuff is so important, so much fun, and so rewarding!

My Lesson with 2-star PP!

I finally was able to reschedule my lesson with Karen Woodbury, 2* Parelli Professional! I couldn't make it to the lesson I had scheduled weeks in advance because my job scheduled me to work that day from 4:00am-8:00am. No one was available to take my shift and there was no way I would have been able to get home, feed 5 billion animals, get Satin and drive to Micanopy by 10:00am. So I opted to try for another day and I finally made it!

On Thursday I loaded Satin onto the trailer - she's the least claustrophobic horse I've ever met and will climb into anything. Just the other day she was eating hay from an open stall piled high with orchard/alfalfa hay bales when I approached and said her name. She knew she was supposed to back up but instead she literally climbed onto the massive bales until both front feet were two feet of the ground and she had no where to go. She gave up and backed out. Could her lack of claustrophobia be her innate left-brain horsenality, or perhaps all the time I spent playing with her as a foal in the horse trailer, in the shed, the barn, the woods... ? Is confidence a learned behavior or innate? Or can it be both? Hmm.

I got off on a little tangent there. More about the lesson!
We arrived at Karen's farm right on time. Satin unloaded and immediately buried her face in the tall, green grass, filling her mouth as if it were her last supper. She wasn't phased by the new environment and rarely took a moment to check out the surroundings. The grass was so much more important. I let her "adjust" to the new scenery while Karen and I discussed what Satin and I had been doing since our last lesson - our relationship has changed in leaps and bounds due to the simple change of keeping Satin out of my personal space.

We started with the driving game from zone 3 and Karen noticed a few things immediately:
1) Satin had a very difficult time leading
2) I need to mean what I say and say what I mean!
3) Satin has a tendency to "throw" her outside (right) shoulder out - setting herself up to "leave"
4) No impulsion

So what we are to work on for this week:
1) Hindquarter disengagement!!!!!! This is critical since Satin (currently) is constantly thinking about ways to "leave" or pull away and take off running.

2) Point-to-point driving from zone 3 - make sure I don't start walking before Satin. Satin needs to take the first steps. Tap-tap-tap-TAP for impulsion. Mean it when I ask her to "stop"

3) Lots of undemanding time on the right side of Satin since she has trouble looking at me with that eye.

Karen noticed that Satin is a "good learner" as she would literally absorb new information immediately. We licked and chewed at least a dozen times during the hour-long lesson. Lots of blowing and sighing. And Satin fell asleep 3 times! After we would go point-to-point and then stop, she would lick/chew/sigh, then shut down and close her eyes. Karen playfully called it a "thinkity bink", in other words, she was doing some serious digesting! If it were any other trainer they would probably accuse me of drugging Satin - it was pretty bizarre!

We have lots to work on! Our next lesson is scheduled for next Thursday. I have 5 lessons scheduled in advance. So excited!

Blind??

Dr. Bob was out on Monday morning to evaluate Satin's eyes for any sign of progressing loss of sight. His forst comment was, "She has mild uveitis, which is the precursor for blindness, but her eyes look healthy and sighted."

Whew. The uveitis is likely to cause of her "night blindness", or congenital stationary night blindness (CSNB), which she's has since she was a foal. However, there is another condition often called "moon blindness", different from CSNB, which is also caused by uveitis (the technical name for moon blindness is Equine Recurrent Uveitis). Satin's night blindness could be caused by either of these conditions.

The good news is aside from the mild uveitis her eyes appeared otherwise healthy. Uveitis can eventually lead to retinal detachment due to the pressure of the swelling vessels behind the retina, causing loss of vision. This is not uncommon in the Appaloosa breed and something I have been watching for for years.
She does appear to have less vision in the left eye than the right - exactly the eye I was concerned about.

The vet simply wants me to watch for signs of discomfort (progressing uveitis) such as rubbing, tearing, etc.

All in all, Satin can see! So no excuses, silly girl.

Continued Growth

Satin and I have not scheduled any play sessions into our (my) busy days, but I seize every opportunity to test my savvy. When I am taking her in and out of her stall, feeding, or just brushing her off, I try to use some technique to keep us both mentally challenged. Just the other day I backed her 12 feet from me from outside the barn to inside the barn, until her back legs touched a wooden box. She was so polite and responded well when I was particular about her backing straight.

Unfortunately, due to my work schedule at the vet school I had to reschedule my lesson (which I had planned for many weeks now!). I am only pushing it back a few days, but I am itching to get a lesson from Karen again! I am SO ready for the next step and I need a more experienced horseman to give me that little push.

The good news about moving my lesson is that John (my DH) will probably be available to film my session. Super!

From Rivals to Partners

I don't even recognize our relationship anymore. I am responding immediately and consistently to Satin's behaviors with savvy and Satin, in turn, is responding with respect and willingness. How interesting!

Before Parelli:
Me: "C'mon, Satin. Do as I say!" *push and pull*
Satin: "No! I don't wanna. Why don't you do as I say?" *tug ignore*
Me: "Augh. Why are you such a brat? Why won't you just behave?" *angry face*
Satin: "Augh. Why are you so demanding. Why can't we ever have fun?" *dull*

Now, with savvy:
Me: "How are you feeling today?" *analyze smile*
Satin: "What are we going to do today!?" *asking questions*
Me: "Let's see what seems fun... "
Satin: "What can I do for you!?"

Gotta love the positive change!

When it's been super hot these days I've been re-watching Liberty and Horse Behavior course. It is fantastic! I am surprised that I am learning new things a second time around. How interesting!

Seeing the Change

I had one of those wonderful moments yesterday when the change in both myself and my horse was revealed. A scenario that has occurred a thousand times before where I want to move Satin from one stall to another and I don't use a halter.
Seems simple enough, right?
Well, my bipolar left brain introvert/extrovert was happily munching her hay and did not want to move her feet (Introvert). At first she just planted her feet and resisted my pressure on her cheek, chin, main, and even the pressure on her cribbing collar. I didn't want her to think that this was going to turn into a fight where I get annoyed and say "C'mon! Roar!" like the direct-line-thinking-predator I am trying not to be. So I left her to retrieve my arm extension, the carrot stick! When she saw the stick she perked up, "I guess mom means business." said her expression as she quickly responded to me asking her to side step in her stall. I tried her cheek again and surprise, she responded! But as we started to walk out of the stall she got bratty (here comes Miss Extrovert)- she was annoyed that I was leading and she stepped on my foot. Now I have been around horses my entire life, many of them young and disrespectful, but the only horse that has ever stepped on my foot is Satin. She literally aims for your feet, no doubt in my mind. And even though I am keenly aware of this fact I still sometimes forget just how clever she is. She stepped on my foot as I was about to step out of the stall so that she could keep walking and I would be stuck under her weight until she got in front of me and... off she went! She left the barn at a lazy trot.
The good news is she got the side of my boot and completely missed my actual foot (Haha, Satin!). I let her leave and took a calming breath to make sure I was focused on being positive. I went out to find her standing just 20 feet from the barn waiting for me. She was mostly turned away from me. So I asked her for her eyes by putting a little pressure on zone 5 with the cs. She turned zone 5 away and swung so her side was facing me. I stopped and relaxed even though she still wasn't looking at me. I let her think for a few seconds, then put pressure on zone 5 again. We were in a weird spot with a tree between us, so she kept considering escaping by backing behind the tree and spinning around. I was able to keep pressure on zone 5 from behind the tree, so she felt this wasn't an option. Then it came - she looked at me! Neutral, dropped my shoulders, hip, cocked a knee. She stared for what seemed like an eternity. I was smiling at her. She finally looked away and I immediately put very gentle, rhythmic pressure towards zone 5. She looked. By the third time I was putting pressure on her she turned to face me and without hesitation came right up to me. I flung the string over her withers and she licked her lips and blew out her adrenaline. I loved on her then asked her to walk with me to the barn, this time without leading by anything physical. She stuck to me right up to the stall, stopped at the door and waited, and went in when I allowed. She didn't go right to her hay but instead wanted some cuddling.
A few months ago... even a few weeks ago, I could have predicted that Satin would have taken off across the farm with no regard for my leadership. Yesterday my horse waited for me. Yesterday she responded differently than that disrespectful mare I know so well. She responded like a partner!

Our relationship is really strengthening. I can see the change in both me and her.

She's a whole different world

It is incredible how animals have such individual personalities. My zebu steer is super curious and playful. He's bold when he wants to be but cautious when he needs to be. He is very vocal, voicing his opinion in chuffs and grunts. My blind heifer calf has suffered in her early life on the dairy farm and her personality expresses her lack of life. But she has begun to develop an adorable personality, and now at 7 months old she's learned that experiences can be fun! She's bonded deeply with me and I feel a connection with her almost more than any other animal I have had the privilege of caring for.

Satin, by default, is my very good partner. I accept her quirks like I would my child's. But Dancer is so different from Satin. She's a bleeding heart, desiring only to please the alpha. I don't know if it's because I can read horses better now than ever or if I truly have never met another horse like Dancer, but she is so unique! Where Satin would look for something to push my buttons, Dancer tries her heart out to make me happy. It's humbling to have such a loyal friend. And to think she was "this close" to becoming dog food. She was loaded into a deteriorating trailer with a truck bed containing a huge pile of halters. The "buyer", a brash, heartless woman, was taking Dancer for free, claiming that Dancer who was backed only a handful of times was going to be a child's lesson horse. Dancer willfully loaded and was taken to the transport facility where there were dozens of horses in multiple small paddocks. The next day the previous "owner", with much pressure from her horse savvy friends, changed her mind and wanted Dancer back. She had to pay money to get her back and came to pick her up. When she arrived at the facility there was only one horse on the entire property this time: Dancer. The only soul saved by grace. After that Dancer was abandoned at the boarding farm I managed. We bonded quickly and I knew she was a special girl.

Yesterday I hopped up on her bareback with a halter and rope and she didn't flinch. She could have told me to f*ck off since I had not been on her back for months and months. But she just said, "Okay! Now what? What shall we do?!"

Sometimes I wish Dancer would rub off on Satin, but honestly I like my girls just the way they are.

Is it July already?

On January 1st of this year I made a resolution. I'm not the type for new year's resolutions, but this time it felt right and I went with my gut. Well, July is here!

I said that I would be at Level 2 with Satin and Dancer by July. The good news is I am self-assessed Level 2 with Satin! I could be there with Dancer in a snap if I had a little more time.
Since January I have bought and watched all the old levels 1 and 2 and the new levels 1 & 2, Liberty and Horse Behavior and On-line and Liberty Patterns. I have watched everything in the vaults, which is a ton of videos, and have taken a lesson with a 2* Parelli trainer.

Looking back I can see that I am on the right track. I am attempting to do whatever it takes to better my relationship with horses, especially my two girls.

After my 3-hour session on July 18th with Karen Woodbury, 2*Parelli trainer, I am going to turn in my video to officially graduate Level 1.

I am saving every penny to go to a 4-week course next year.

Happy July!

Another battle to win

Satin and I had a fabulous time in one of our big pastures yesterday. It was all undemanding, quality time munching on green grass and pulling up poisonous weeds (I was doing the weed pulling ;-) ). I've allowed this 7 acre (approximately) pasture to grow for 30 days and Satin and I went out to patrol the fence line for any flaws and destroy any pesky plants before I turn one of the herds out there.
I was very impressed with her comfort level in a new place with horses whinnying in the distance. She didn't care. She really never has. We have always shared a strong bond and Satin seems to feel safe with me.

Yesterday as we wandered the pasture I started to think back to 10 years ago when we would ride bareback in a halter from our little dirt road to the subdivision near our farm. I would ride her on the sidewalks while little kids would squeal in delight at the sight of her. We would canter up and down the main road to race the cars. We even played in the retention ponds on hot days. It was always just her and I, the environment never mattered. These are the days I long to have again. Peaceful, undemanding, fun. I miss that. I feel like we've strayed so far from what's important - the relationship. Thankfully we have found PNH, a program that bases everything on the relationship. I'm looking forward to that friendship we once had.

Today we played in the arena. We did a circle here and there and popped over a few cavaletties. She's starting to see that I won't punish her. She's starting to see the positive patterns.

And yet we have another battle to win. I think Satin is partially blind in her left eye. She has always been "night blind" - a genetically linked trait in certain Appaloosas (Leopards and snowflaked). As an Appaloosa she's predisposed to both night blindness and plain ol' blindness. Here's what I noticed:
Trotting on a circle to the left (left eye inside) she rolled her eye back so that mostly white sclera was visible. She was balanced and collected. We switched sides (left eye out) and she turned her nose to the outside, head was up, she was not collected and kind of discombobulated. I switched several times and she showed this same behavior at the walk and the trot.
Well, the good news is if she's going blind then I have caught it early. Plus, our relationship is getting stronger so if she does lose her sight then she will have a much easier time adjusting with me as her leader.

I'll try to get some pictures of this weirdness!

A New Game!

I discovered a new game that not only helps engage Satin's mind, but it gives me a way to direct my energy instead of my normal tense and frustrated feeling. Why am I frustrated, you ask?
Well, Satin is an avid cribber (to put it lightly) and prefers to crib than to do anything else, aside from eating. And if given the choice between cribbing and eating food from a toy, she'll play with the toy until it's no longer easy to get the food and then off she goes to get her fix.
The habit was a big issue from the time she was a foal until she was about 5 years old. She colicked many times a year; almost always "gas colic". But as she aged her body adjusted and she hasn't had any health issues associated with the cribbing. The veterinarian dentist assures me there is no real harm in having no front incisors besides potentially dropping food, but this mare doesn't drop a crumb from her lips.

Needless to say, I subconsciously hate that any horse would be afflicted with such a powerful addiction to something that has no benefits and may be a symptom of something more serious (mentally, physically, or emotionally). So I find myself throwing things at her to break the pattern, hence my frustration.

For a more constructive way to 'deal' with this behavior, I've started making it into a game. She can crib any day or time so long as I am not in ear shot, because if I am in ear shot I will quickly be in reach. "Don't make me pick up the stick!" has become our new game and she really seems to be having a lot of fun which is surprising because I thought it would just annoy the heck out of her. It turns out that she probably would rather be doing something with her mind. Surprise, surprise!

A scenario:
Satin is free-roaming in the barn and sidles up to a stall to crib. I stand relaxed with the CS and wait, smiling. I'll do friendly game with her, then go about my business, always staying juuust in reach. She waits and waits at the stall door (outside of the stall), and watches me closely, waiting for me to turn my back or get too far away. As soon as she plants her teeth on the stall I put a lot of rhythmic pressure on her with the CS and she trots out of the barn. She turns and looks at me and I just wander off and ignore her. The game quickly becomes "What can I get in to to make the human chase me! This is fun!" And I know she's enjoying it because she's constantly asking to come back to me and I always allow and do lots of friendly. I bet this would be an excellent way to get her mind warmed up to play with me. Maybe I can put an obstacle at the end of the barn so that she'll have to jump it. I need to get creative!
We did this for over an hour yesterday. I have to say that it was quite a challenge for me to do very little "work" for an hour, but I took it as quality down-time and a much needed break from farm chores. My clever Satin would nibble a piece of hay on the ground while watching me, then sniff this and touch that, doing all sorts of random behaviors to see what made me pick up the stick. She would even go as far as stand in position to crib, lip hovering above the wood, and just wait there, her on on my relaxed body.
Her extrovert side was displaying loudly as she trotted away playfully, then she would swing back around and look at me. Next time I will have to get it on video because you can just see the fun she's having in her expression!

This doesn't address the issue of cribbing when I am not around and I have been strongly considering a new type of device (her windsucking muscles are so strong that the miracle collar can't stop her any more). But to what end?

I'll discuss my theory on cribbing in another note! For now I am just thrilled to have found the creativity to turn something negative into a game!

Early Stages

How interesting. Satin is either incredibly bored or very confused... or a mixture of both.

I played with her a second time yesterday and yes, it was hot, but she generally doesn't appear as affected by the heat as many other horses (and people, for that matter). She wasn't sweaty or sluggish, but when we played she just seemed... bored. I get distracted by her expressions while we play and I find myself saying, "C'mon Satin, how come you're not having fun?"
I guess I must be forcing the issue.

Here's an example:
On a 12' line, send her on the circle. She goes with a decent amount of energy and pep in her step. But she's kind of pulling and looking the other way. I allow her to disengage, but she's so lost in her own little bored world that she doesn't see me blatantly saying "You can stop now". So I slowly reel her in, still staring at her zone 5, when finally she snaps out of it and the tires screech to a halt. "Oh! I can stop now!"
Hmmm, how interesting. She goes introverted when she's bored. Or maybe she goes introverted when she feels pushed?
Oh boy! A new challenge!
The early stages of any learning is always tumultuous! 

I'm glad I'm laughing!

Satin was free roaming the barn this morning, munching on scraps of hay, visiting the other horses in the stalls, and just searching, searching, searching for her next score in the form of food or cribbing. She started cribbing on a stall and usually I will quietly go to her and put on her cribbing collar. I don't mind the damage to the barn, but her front teeth are almost gone! So I try to crib her cribbing, pun intended.
As usual, I picked up the collar and started to approach. She pinned her ears and skipped away with that "Teehee, you can't catch me" look on her face. No big deal. I put her collar on a stall door and went back to what I was doing.
She sneaked back over to a stall, ears forward and watching my every move, and slooowly she started to put her lip on the stall... criiiib, then looked at me. I smiled, picked up the collar and approached. She swished her tail and skidaddled.
So I thought that maybe I should play with her a bit and get her mind off cribbing. I grabbed her halter and asked her to come to me from the other side of the barn.
She came to me, was haltered, and off we went doing sideways out the barn.

Okay, so I'm trying to think of something creative that will get her interested and distract her from thinking about cribbing. How about "put your nose on it"? So we yo-yo'd a bit, then send gently to the fence.
She was a little wired because she was annoyed that I kept her from windsucking and so she kept running her chest into the fence that I would send her to. I attempted to stop her 2,3, and 4 feet before the fence but she was being unengaged and then frustrated. She didn't want to try. She kept trotting back and forth, fence to fence, without me asking, threatening to jump each fence. And she wasn't thinking. I wouldn't say she was right-brained, but she was unconfident.
I didn't stop her soon enough and she decided that she wanted to go AWAY. And she did. Pulled the 12' line until I couldn't hold her anymore (she knows how to pivot her body just right until she has all the leverage and can pull the rope from me). Off she went at a full-on gallop.

I made myself smile and said out loud "How interesting."

About 10 minutes of crazy LBE naughty galloping around the farm playing "hide your hiney" and she finally turned to look at me. "Well hello, Beautiful!" I said with a smile, 15 feet from her. She stood, head high, somewhat RB but blinking, licking, and chewing as she was coming off the adrenaline. I invited her to come to me and she took one step forward as if to say "I'm done playing! Please let me stop running!"
I allowed her to come in, did some friendly, then did a little sideways and yo-yo.

I'm still chuckling about the whole episode because I'm thrilled that I responded positively instead of getting angry.

I need more savvy arrows to deal with this girl!

It finally clicked!

"I think we'll work on yo-yo. Maybe I can get her to do some side-ways. Hmmm. I'll try for 3 laps on the circle this time..."

That was previously my thought process as I haltered Satin and started to work with her. And when she didn't accomplish whatever task I was demanding, I would try, try, try again. But yesterday IT CLICKED! It's really not about the circle or the trailer or the yo-yo or the task! It is about ME being clear in my language, putting the relationship first, and taking responsibility as a leader should. BAM. It finally clicked.

And boy, did Satin respond! I could see her thinking and anticipating my old reactions "Mom is going to be upset because I am not getting this right." She would get nervous when she did something "wrong". But guess what? There is no wrong! There is only clear communication or a lack of communication. And when I assured her that what she was doing was great, whether or not we were doing anything, she responded so positively. She wanted to be with me more than she ever has. She wanted to try for me. And her reward wasn't material. She wasn't doing it for a prize. She just wanted to be my partner. Like a foal using the left side of their brain to follow their mother's every whim, Satin was by my side loyally.

So now instead of planning my sessions ahead of time, I plan to work on myself during the session. "What will I be conscious of today? My body language? My expression?"
It really helps to say things aloud when I play with the horses because it keeps me "self conscious".

Hooray! I knew I would finally have a revelation!

I've got a 3-hour session scheduled for July 18th with 2* Parelli trainer, Karen Woodbury. Super excited!

Letting Go of Old Expectations

It was absolutely pouring rain and luckily I rescued Satin from the downpour just in time. I just opened her pasture gate and allowed her and her pasture mate to take refuge in the barn where the spoiled stalled horses were quietly munching their coastal hay.

Satin immediately started searching for food in every nook and cranny. I just watched her as I went about my business. She started cribbing on a stall door, so instead of squelching her addiction I decided to play with her and attempt to engage her mind.
I basically played at liberty doing the driving game from stall to stall. The rain was working in my benefit because if it hadn't been for the dark sky opening up on us she probably would have left the barn!
I worked particularly on the driving game with her head and shoulder. When she would respond I would reward with friendly game and then driving game in zone 4/5.
It's interesting, when I drive her head away she simply squints and bends her neck away from me, keeping her hooves planted. I start my phases slow and obvious in the beginning and once she gets the hang of it I become more particular. If she doesn't move the front end with loooong phase 1... almost phase 2 - then PHASE 4! She responds. I stop, smile, relax, friendly. Now move zone 5 - very good. Now move zone 1 - Phase 1... She responds! How nice!

But I'm perplexed as to why she finds this game so... pointless. It's as if she's asking me, "What is the point of me moving around the barn? Can't we stand and eat now?" I wonder if my "demands" are keeping the relationship first. Being the leader is good for our relationship, but I want to be sure I am not pushing her to a level of unhappiness. My old expectations consisted of  "You will do what I say, when I say it." It's hard not to have those same expectations, expecially when she responds in a way that is opposite of "what I want." I have to keep repeating to myself, "Relationship first, relationship first, it's not about the trailer..."

Still trying to get her engaged. She's a challenging girl and will make me a great horseman!

Getting Creative and Play Drive

I am shocked at how stumped I get when it's time to get creative. Back through some jump standards. Okay, um, yo-yo back to me through jump standards. Okay, now... Um.

Satin is thinking, "BORING! Why are we doing this?"

Circles:
I am getting more particular with her circles. One thing she likes to do when she is annoyed with me, whether it be because I ask for a trot from the walk or ask her to continue the circle, she crowds me with her shoulder and collapses the circle. I use phase 4 with the end of my carrot stick on her shoulder and she throws her front legs out and will even kick out at me if she's really bothered. I'm left asking myself "What am I doing wrong? Is this part of the learning process? Am I pushing her? Making her feel unconfident?"

My last less with Karen showed me that I really need to focus on the first three games. If I am having an issue with her in my space, then we clearly have a porcupine game issue. Satin is LB so she has trouble getting that front end responsive. She doesn't want to move her head or neck but especially doesn't want to move her shoulder away from me. So I worked on the porcupine game, trying to mix it up and keep it interesting. Satin always seems so unengaged. Maybe it's time to break out the treats and reward her slightest try with a carrot. Funny how different she is than Dancer (RBE). Dancer won't put a treat to her lips - She is very satisfied with her reward being 'the pressure is off'!

The good news is, many of my questions will be answered as I begin to take 3-hour workshops with Karen (2* Junior Parelli Trainer) starting next month. For $100 I get a 3-hour lesson tailored to me in a small group of 4-6 students. I love this idea! I like the thought of being in a group setting so the focus isn't always directed at me. I guess I don't like all that pressure either! Plus, 3-hours for that price is really awesome. I am selling some of my tack and gear to pay for several of these workshops between now and when I start back to classes in late August.

I'm also saving up for a 4-week course sometime next year. It will have to be late 2011, but I am definitely planning on signing up soon!

Staying cool in this amazingly hot Florida weather and trying to focus on having fun!

Satin looking terribly bored while introducing her to Max, the mini-Zebu steer.

I'm still trying to read Satin's behavior on the circle as play or annoyed. She sometimes leaps into an angry-looking gallop when asked to continue on the circle or change gate. Is this play, I wonder? Or is it her voicing her frustration? Hmmm...

2* Trainer Lesson

It's been over a week since my lesson with wonderful 2* trainer, Karen Woodbury. She's fantastic. When she speaks it's as if Parelli is speaking through her. She has been trained very well and is an extension of Parelli - exactly what Parelli is probably going for when they train their students!

One thing she clarified for me has helped shape my thinking with the circling game. Satin and I have gone back to the 12' line because she seemed incredibly unconfident on the 22' line - whether this is because I was pushing her way too much too soon or because she simply has no confidence at that distance yet, I'm not sure. But I'd rather go too slow than too fast - the whole reason we quit traditional riding & training is because I felt like I was forcing her to do things that she did not enjoy. I want to make sure our sessions are enjoyable for her! I do have to keep in mind that it is not about "keeping her in shape", it is about our relationship. She can be a sloppy fatty for the rest of her years so long as she is content. The good news is she can develop a strong work ethic AND be happy!

Karen commented on Satin's dominant tendencies. When we were standing and discussing our goals, Satin was munching grass near my feet, stepping in front of me, putting her shoulder in my space, oblivious to my personal boundaries. This was clearly a passive dominance assertion. Karen reminded me that I need to keep from confusing Satin - I have to be consistently the leader and keep my feet firmly planted in that alpha position. So even while we are just hanging out, I need to tell Satin that "This is my space, step back or..."

We focused on the first three games: Friendly, Porcupine, Yo-yo.  I didn't realize just how critical it was to master these concepts. If you have an issue with anything, you have an issue that starts with one of these games. When I would ask Satin to back up, she would lazily take a step back, leaving one foot forward as if to say "You're not going to really MAKE me back." I started to get particular with her and when I would see these signs of non-compliance, I would ask for more, always reinforcing with allowing her to come back to me.

What I walked away from this lesson with ringing loudly in my mind was "It is ME who needs to learn, not the horse!" Satin is equipped with the natural ability to respond to my behaviors. It's my responsibility as a good leader to make my requests clear and consistent. I think now I will be more "Me conscious."

The more I realize how I need to develop, the more I love my horse just the way she is!

Karen is offering group sessions at her farm over the summer. I will be attending several of these 3 hour sessions!

What's been going on

I've been playing with Satin on a regular basis - about 15-20 minute sessions every day.
She still tests me every step of the way and I wonder if she always will. She's very smart and therefore easily bored and challenging to challenge! And when I do challenge her mind she gets feisty. Sometimes it is hard to stay positive, but I found something that works for me!
Yesterday I had Satin on the 12' line just working on her send and returns. She's under the impression that when I send her she's required to GO GO GO GO and I will be upset if she stops. She has a good memory - I haven't lunged her like this for at least 7 years. But she sees the string on the end of the carrot stick and gets annoyed.
So I have been veeery gently sending her at a walk, letting her go about 10 steps and then asking her to disengage and return. She loves to come back to me (because it means she can stand still and not expend energy!). Then I ask her to back and send again. We do this a few times and she starts to realize that she can't predict what I am going to ask her - this is when she starts really getting into it. I have to be on my toes and make sure that she doesn't think I am going to punish her. When she anticipates a send and starts to turn before I ask her to, I gently ask her to stop and back. When she finally gets it I let her stand still.
To stay positive I put the radio on pretty loud and I do a lot of dancing and jigging. It keeps me in a good mood even when Satin is crowding my space or being bored.  I try not to let her mood dictate mine!

She's getting calmer at the trot, too. Usually she throws a big hissy fit when I ask her to trot - and the fit sometimes turns into right brain craziness where she tries to pull away and escape the situation. Lots of friendly games, lots of rewards.

I feel like we are in the slow, muddy phase of our journey. Bogged down by habits and past experiences. Hoping we can pull ourselves out of it and move on.

Getting Fat

Satin has been sitting around gaining weight and she's more than happy to do just that. But now that my semester is finally over I will be starting up our summer routine!
I think we are still on track for our goal to pass Level 2 officially by July.
I played with Dancer for just a few minutes before asking her to stand still for the farrier. She is so responsive! It is the exact opposite of Satin. I love my two girls!

Playday at the Parelli ISC

I never thought I would be typing that heading - "Playday at the Parelli ISC" - how fun is that?

A level 4 friend of mine drove down from the Florida-Georgia border on Friday with her horse, Jake, and parked here at the farm. She gave some much-needed pointers with Satin, namely "you're babying her" and "don't let her get in your space (ie, you're babying her)." I noticed positive changes as soon as I stopped allowing Satin to "step on top of me." You'd be surprised how much the tiniest allowances can reinforce a behavior that you don't want. I wouldn't assertively ask Satin to move away from me when she would absentmindedly plow me with her shoulder. Instead I would kind of shove her (which did nothing) and just felt frustrated. My friend noticed this right away and suggested a quick, appropriate reaction -- use pressure (natural reinforcment to horses) to immediately get her from your space and be conscious of where she is so that you don't allow her to enter your space (once she's right on top of me it is very difficult to get her back without backing up my own feet and losing her dominance game).

It took half a dozen of times of (pretty much just shaking the line, shaking my hands and carrot stick) these "wins" and Satin was looking me in the eyes as if to say "You exist? Who are you and where did you come from?"
All I did was make the behavior she was choosing (dominance) uncomfortable or simply not fun and the behavior which I wanted (her to step out of my space and in turn me become the leader) was pleasurable (no pressure).

So that was Friday.

Saturday we loaded up by 7am and made the 1 hour trek to the Parelli center in Reddick. Beautiful is an understatement. The enormous, ancient oak trees were simply amazing. The farm was not fancy at all. The fences were simple: black 4-board fencing or electric tape. They had two water troughs in every pasture (one with plain water and one with molasses water). They have no big, fancy barns; just beautiful pastures with modest enclosures and metal corral panels as turnout for the extern's horses. There was a thin running creek with a bridge, some low-lying areas with maintained natural ponds. There are a handful of buildings - a classroom, office, and dining hall - all very new and efficient.
The staff were incredibly friendly and had accents from all across the world. I heard Australian, German, and others that I couldn't even place - every voice was inviting and polite.
The point is that it's evident that they don't spend money on fancy houses and cars or on unnatural barns, etc (their house is maybe 3,000 square feet (solar panels, energy efficient and covered in plants) and they have one vehicle each - Pat has a Ford truck and Linda has a Land Rover).  Instead they use their profits for spreading the word about their wonderful program. Not only was I able to receive direct encouragement on the Savvy Club forums from the Parelli community, but I sent emails back and forth with a Parelli staff member who offered me personal support regarding whether or not I should come to the Parelli ISC for the games (for those of you who don't know the games are free).

Satin loaded and unloaded without a blink of an eye. She loves to load, as a matter of fact, and always has. I just point her at the trailer and Ms. Curious just climbs right in. She really didn't care about the other horses as we walked around the trailer when we arrived. All the horses were paying attention to their human counterparts - very few were being 'naughty' or 'looky'. It was like being at a dog agility show -- those dogs don't take their eyes off their two-legged parents! I think Satin was comforted by all these relaxed horses as starkly opposed to a horse show where the air is so thick with stress you can cut it with a knife. Also there was quite a bit of grass.... Mmm, food-in-mouth. I think she gets a similar endorphin rush from eating food as she does from cribbing!
We were there from about 8:30am until 1:00pm and we wandered the beautifully landscaped property, played a few timed-games, and most impressively we worked on our circling game in the round corrals. I am thrilled to have gone to the center, thrilled that everything went smoothly, and psyched that Satin and I had a breakthrough in those round corrals! It really couldn't have gone any better (unless Satin turned into a Unicorn Pegasus, now that would be awesome).

Satin, we are on the track to an awesome relationship!

I'll post pictures soon!

Why Am I So Nervous?

I have not been this excited & anxious since, well, since I was a little girl on Christmas Eve. I don't know why I am so nervous, but hopefully it's a good nervous and not a "conscience trying to tell me to run the other way!"

Satin and I are going to the Parelli Center on Saturday!! Holy frikkin moly! I know, I know, it's not that big of a deal. But we haven't gone anywhere for years. Part of my excitement is that we are heading in the right direction. I have no expectations - we may end up coming home having learned nothing new (I doubt that), or we may end up having a much needed break through - either way I am happy to just spend time with my girl. The nervous/anxious part of me is probably me hoping that Satin doesn't get out of control. I won't be embarrassed if she pulls me to the ground and runs off. It won't be the end of the world. I kind of even hope she'll be upset and we can target that emotion and work on it. I guess I just subconsciously wish we didn't have that issue to deal with.

I keep trying to back out of going on Saturday. I told John that "I have so much to do" and "I don't really need to go" and "Her coggins just expired". So I am sort of battling with myself! I have the vet coming out today (I called this morning!) to come draw coggins and do a health certificate (butterflies in my belly!). I am RSVPing to the Parelli office today and have the farrier scheduled to come trim Satin's toes on Thursday (OMG, it's actually happening)!

I need a little excitement in my life to break up all my stress. This is so good for me and I hope Satin has a good time, too. Woo hoo!

Lazy or Comfortable???

Satin gladly came with me to the arena where I has 5 jumps, barrels, and other obstacles set up to keep her interested. I figured we'd stay away from the circling game without obstacles in hopes that she won't get so upset.

I started walking around the arena with her on the 12' line. We sniffed jumps, knocked some cones over, and just sort of wandered with no intention of doing anything. She started getting sleepy and clearly bored, so I decided to see if she wanted to express herself. It was windy and cold, so I just assumed she would be spunky.

Wrong, again. How interesting.

Instead of trotting excitedly behind me, after two trot steps she stopped. I stopped with her, allowing her to lead the play session. She sniffed the ground and laid down. I chuckled. Was she not feeling well? She just laid there on her side. So I pet her and listened to her gut sounds. All fine.
She decided to get up and we walked around again. As soon as I asked her to follow me at a quicker pace, BAM, she lay down. Was she trying to tell me that this is what I want to do? Was she pretending she had a belly ache to get out of exercising? I wasn't sure, so I sat with her.

She did this one more time, again immediately after asking her to trot. As soon as I took her off the line she felt fine trotting. How interesting...

She jumped a few things, but mostly just clobbered the obstacles then looked at me like "That's what I supposed to do, right? Kill it?"

Ah, my horse. Not sure what I am supposed to think. Not sure when I am supposed to be firm and ask her to move on. Not sure she's secure and confident enough to be okay with that. Feeling very unsure!

Ah well, we are still moving forward. The good news is the new joint supplement seems to have really made a significant improvement to her popping joints. I am VERY surprised to see such an improvement after only 30 days, but it is definitely there. No buts about it.

On a side note, Dancer has been watching me play with with boarder alpha mare and is getting very interested. She has been more curious and has even shown signs of dominance over the alpha mare - very unlike Dancer! Maybe she's gaining confidence in herself and in me as her leader.

All my fault!

It is hard to admit when you've been selfish. It's hard to admit you're to blame. It's hard to accept that you've done wrong for so long.
When my eyes were opened to the atrocious treatment of the animals we eat, I was shocked! I was an animal sciences major. I volunteered in slaughterhouses. I participated in meat processing. I learned all the aspects of factory farming (so I thought) and I was still in deep denial. I thought, "This is the way it has to be". The animals are okay. We eat meat, so there's no alternative.

Boy, was I wrong! When I allowed myself to feel what they felt and acknowledged that I, as a consumer, was directly responsible for their suffering, I couldn't handle it. I needed to stop supporting the torture. Intelligent, playful pigs stuck in crates so small they can't turn around - they go mad. Hens jammed packed into wire floor cages, horribly sick and dying, the cage the size of a piece of notebook paper. Chickens grown for such huge breasts that they can't walk. Turkey's skeletons can not even hold up their flesh and their pelvises split. Dairy cows' babies torn from their side the moment give birth - they moo and call until they're hoarse and broken. Bull calves of the dairy industry left to die in the pasture because they are worth nothing to the industry or they are sent to live in a veal crate, tied by their neck, kept purposely iron-deficient so their flesh is pretty pink when their infant bodies are rendered. Horses abandoned by their owners and sent on a long, traumatic journey to their horrific death.

I had to admit that the way I had been living, completely in the dark because it was emotionally easier, was not only morally wrong, but was contributing to these beautiful animals' suffering.
It's not easy changing habits.

How does this relate to my Parelli journey?

I have been in denial about my horse. It is easier to blame her 'issues' on her. If I let myself believe that she is responsible for her shenanigans, then I don't have to feel guilty.

Yesterday was one of those days when I realized that I needed to take the higher road. I needed to accept that I was responsible for Satin's fear - fear that pretended was brattiness!
Satin has been trying to tell me all these years that she's insecure. She's unconfident. And she needs me to lead her.

I went out to the pasture to visit Satin with the intention of taking her for a walk down the road. I even considered riding bareback like the old days. We used to gallop on the side of busy roads, racing the cars, bareback and free. We would ride through children-filled neighborhoods, along side walks, through puddles and retention ponds. Nothing got in our way. That was almost ten years ago now!

So I just wanted a little of what we used to have. I was having an awful day and wanted to be around my best friend.
She came to me in the pasture and immediately noticed that I had treats. She sweetly put her nose in the halter and we walked around a bit in the pasture. She stuck close to me, like usual. I tried to play some yo-yo games but she seemed a little tense. I would back her just 5 feet and she would hold her foot up, anxious. I figured since she couldn't stand still that we could work on the circling game. I quietly gave her the 'send'. She took two steps on the circle ad turned towards me, ears forward, about to walk to me. I stopped her and backed her a few steps. Anxiety again. I sent her again, a very gentle swing of the carrot stick.. . . . .

Well, she blew a cork. She galloped in a 15 foot circle for 10 laps. Asking her to stop wasn't helping. So I just stood their while she galloped full speed, around and around and around. I tried disengaging her hind quarters - she would face me, ears forward, and break to a big trot coming directly at me (very nervous and still ready to explode). For my own safety I asked her (being very soft in my requests) to stop where she was. She took that as a reprimand and galloped past me, bucking, striking.
Her ears were never pinned. She was not naughty or cocky. Fact is, she was very unconfident and frustrated. She didn't feel that she could come back to me without getting 'spanked' for not doing 'right'. She wants to please me, but I never allow her to!

It is heart wrenching to admit that I have caused this. But like the time I decided to not eat animals, I was going to take the high road, no matter what it did to my pride, knowing it is the right choice for her. It's not about me. It's about the relationship.

After an emotionally draining day this was not the type of play session I wanted. But I had time to think before writing this. Initially, right after I ended our play session, I was depressed. My horse hates me. She doesn't do anything I want her to. She won't just be calm! I stewed and the wind was long gone from my sails.

I kept hearing Parelli in my head, "How interesting" and "It's about the relationship"... I wanted to scream, "My horse is different! She's impossible!"
That's when it hit me. My horse isn't psycho. My horse's leader isn't a leader. If I were, she would follow. Simple as that.

Satin and I have a long road ahead of us. I have been tasked with showing her that I won't get mad at her. I need to show her that she's good. She needs to be rewarded for the slightest try, because she really does try hard.

I know it will be a challenge, but it is worth every tear.

So here's to accepting the blame and to a bright future.

My tack box

I finally feel like I am fully equipped. No more gerry-rigging, duck tape, or wanna-be gear. I now have all the tools I need to fit the situation as well as the education to get me where I want to go!

I finally got my new equipment kits from Parelli. So now my inventory includes:
-3 warmblood halters
-1 horse size halter (I had two but broke one already :-(, and it wasn't because the equipment was faulty)
-3 12' lines
-2 22' lines (1 professional snap, 1 swivel snap)
-1 warmblood size hackamore
-1 horse size hackamore (just have to go pick it up_
-3 carrot sticks with savvy strings
-1 mecate 22' reins (was purchased off ebay as a 22' line, turned out to be reins, but it was a good deal so I saved it instead of returning it)
-Level 1 DVDs (just the dvds)
-Level 1 Partnership set (VHS, plus all pocket guides)
-Level 2 DVDs (just the dvds)
-Level 2 Harmony set (VHS & pocket guides)
-Liberty and Horse Behavior
-NEW Level 1/2 (in the mail on it's way!)

Now I don't feel like I have to sit around and wait to do something because I wasn't equipped. This was a huge cause of hesitation in the past, but I decided to be truly dedicated to this and went all the way. I am so glad I did!

I am looking into completing my education library with the Success Series and some of the Patterns.

It is going to be a very busy few weeks for me with exams, starting my new job in addition to my current job and running the barn, John's mom starting chemotherapy, and physical therapy on my silly hip. Satin and Dancer will be my much needed vacations from the hustle and bustle of life. I feel like I am still on track with my New Year's goal to pass Level 2 with both girls. Once I find the power cord to my digital video camera, Satin and I will be filming our Level 1 assessment!

Not just a walk...

Satin and I went on a little walk yesterday (Tuesday, 23rd).
I was headed down the road to see if my packages had arrived yet and decided to bring my girl along. She was happy to come!
We lazily wandered down the road, eating Spanish moss and anything green along the way. I had her on the 22' line just to be safe. She was left-brained the entire time, which is not unusual for her. I got to the gate at my landlord's home and it was locked. Hmmm. I needed to get to his front door to see if the packages had been delivered (before the gate was locked). What to do with Satin? She couldn't climb the 6' fence.

So I tied her to the gate, hopped over, and booked it to the front door. Searching, searching.. Nothing. Bummer. Satin watched me the whole time - too cute!

I jogged back to her and she picked her foot up as if to ask, "Did you get me a treat?"

We wandered further down the road, just nibbling the weeds and such (well, she was eating weeds).
I watched her demeanor for any unconfidence. Nothing. Watched for any thresholds. None.

After about 45 minutes we made our way back. As we approached the pastures the herd of mares (there are 3 of them) came galloping towards us. This was what I was waiting for. A perfect opportunity for Satin to "misbehave". I have learned now that this isn't naughtiness (when she blows a cork), it is lack of confidence. She clearly didn't see me as a strong leader in the past or she wouldn't need to throw a fit.
Satin lifted her head as the crazy girls continued their run around the pasture. I anticipated her reaction and asked her quietly to back... then phase two... She backed! And as she was backing she let out the tiniest little whinny that trailed off at the end.
She was so used to responding with a call (which was always followed by bucking, rearing, striking, etc) that she was obviously thinking about it, but I kept her left-brained by getting her to think about backing. She started licking and chewing. Love it!

This was a tiny improvement, but every stepping stone is necessary! We don't have to make leaps and bounds.

All in all it was a wonderfully undemanding day with my spotted girl.

Silly Satin, tricks are for kids!

If you can't get out of the way... you're too slow! Poor Satin has always been slow to move, whether it be from an alpha horse or under saddle. Not much gets her going, except boredom! She's a complex girl.

Well, combine her night blindness with her lack of momentum and an aggressive alpha mare, and you get bite lacerations and kick hematomas. All well and fine, until it escalates to serious injuries.
There is no one to blame except myself for Satin's most recent injury. She tried to tell me she didn't want to go out into the pasture. I was thinking, "Oh, I can't spoil her so much. She needs to go out like everyone else."

And to show Mommy just how mean she was for not letting her stay in her stall, she gets brought to the barn in the morning with blood dripping down her leg. Oh, Satin.
From the looks of it the alpha mare shoved her into a fence... and here's the results:

 

Familiarity Breeds Contempt

The age old adage is ringing loud and clear, "Familiarity breeds contempt."

You see this concept in a lot in relationships, particularly marriages. Spouses feel safe that their other-half isn't going and can't go anywhere that sometimes expectations get out of control. I expect you to be sweet to me when I am feeling crummy. I expect you to be there for me. I expect you to be keen to my emotions and respond accordingly.
How soon we forget to appreciate our spouse just because we love them!

I notice this in my relationship with my horse! 
Satin grew up with me. She knows me very well and can predict my next move (because for 13 years I have boring and predictable!). The terrible thing is that I have developed expectations simply because she "should know better."

Becoming keenly aware of this is my next big goal. I want to be sure that I have no expectations of my girls so that I can reward the slightest try.

Liberty and Horse Behavior, Hold My Hand

Of course I would love to be dancing on the beach in the light of the moon with my horses, but we aren't quite there yet.
I've been watching the Liberty and Horse Behavior course and it's helping me fine tune my already natural knack of horse behavior observation. I'm only on the second DVD (out of 8, I think) and it's emphasizing the importance of knowing what mind-set your horse is in at every moment.

The challenge for me with Satin is that I assume that I know her so well that I don't take the time to watch her behavior. Now that I am honing my skills and am conscious of the sheer importance of this savvy, I have been watching both Satin and Dancer (and all other horses, for that matter) much, much more closely -- and I think I discovered something I would have never known if it was not for Parelli.

What was my discovery?

Satin has many moments of unconfidence.
You're probably saying, "I don't even know the horse, but even I know that every horse has moments of unconfidence!"
I would have said the same thing! But when it comes to Satin, I think of her as in constant left-brain mode. I have twisted together confident cockiness and unconfident nervousness when these two behaviors are so very different! I was not giving my girl my full attention because I just pinned her as the "bratty" one.
Well, it turns out that Satin has many moments of unconfidence, particularly when she's at a distance from me. She wants to be close to me, touching me. I used to think that was her just pushing me around, and many times it is! But now I am more aware of the difference between when she's trying to be bossy and crowd me and when she's asking me to hold her hand.

So as we journey through our ever-developing relationship I need to remember that there will be times that I will need to hold her hand and times when I need to encourage her to become more confident.

As for Dancer, I am spending a lot of time just watching her in the pasture, watching her at feeding time, etc, etc. I originally, two years ago when I met her, tagged her as a loving, sweet, unconfident horse. And guess what?
That's still the case! She responds very well to being pushed around by the alpha horse. She basically gets out the way without fear - so she's not afraid of submission, she's not afraid of following the leader's orders. What she fears the most is being leaderless. I think if it came down to her having to lead a herd, she might just self combust. She is very eager to please her alpha and takes care of her - she watches her back, follows her everywhere, swishes the flies from her alpha. I expect that once I really start developing her confidence she will be an amazing partner.

Well, back to watching more L&HB - I highly recommend this course to anyone at any level. Understanding horse behavior is crucial even before approaching your horse in the pasture for the first time, let alone starting the "7 games".

The relationship first

 

An example of when ears pinned don't mean aggression or frustration. Just relaxed and drinking...

 

                                                  She leaves her hay to greet me...

 

Dancer is strikingly beautiful, isn't she?

But look at her nervous eye below!

I got the 22' line and put it to use for the first time. Satin likes to stick to me, whether it's because she gets un-confident when she's confused at the end of the line or she knows she can be lazy and stand still when she's at my side, could be either. But I decided that right now I am working on showing her that I'm not going to get upset with her, no matter what tricks she pulls. She knows how to "get my goat" and has lots of tricks up her spotted sleeves, and she really enjoys getting a rise out of me. Typical LBI!

So I want to show her that her partner is patient now. I can handle anything she throws at me with love.

A few days ago...
I put her on the 22' line and backed her about 15' to start, then sent her on the circle. She walked about 2 steps then turned and asked a question. I just smiled and allowed her to come back to me. We did this a dozen times, each time I let her come right back. Then I started asking her to stop part-way back to me. She didn't seem nervous and responded well. I didn't want to over do it, so we wandered off to do something else.

I was trying to get her to step onto a stump, but she wanted to jump it. So she jumped it back and forth, even when I wasn't asking for it. She really seemed to be having fun just spending time with me (and me being patient and loving instead of demanding).

I've been working with a sensitive alpha mare (one of my boarders), just doing the friendly game and some porcupine with lots of gentleness (she's a RBE TB mare and kicks out when being blanketed). She has shown huge improvement just with a few sessions of friendly game. How cool is that!